In Honour of Heart Month, I Thought I'd Hurl A Brick to Your Gut

Without further ado...

"Pride generally has a good reputation and is socially encouraged, yet as we see from the chart of the levels of consciousness, it's sufficiently negative to remain below pride.

The problem...is that "Pride goeth before a fall." Pride is defensive and vulnerable because it's dependent upon external conditions, without which it can suddenly revert. The inflated ego is vulnerable to attack. Pride remains weak because it can be knocked off its pedestal.

Man has habitually died for Pride- armies still regularly slaughter each other for that aspect of it called nationalism. Religious wars, political terrorism and zealotry- these are all the price of Pride, which all of society pays.

The downside of Pride is arrogance and denial. These characteristics block growth; in Pride, recovery from addictions is impossible because emotional problems or character defects are denied. Thus Pride is a very sizable block to the acquisition of real power."

Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins

Last Round: Candid-Camera

Always being honest, isn't always easy.

And I guess the hardest part, aside from those who know you best, is being honest with yourself.

About your fears;
your insecurities.
About your awesomeness;
how fierce you know you are.
About your disappointments;
things you're not proud to admit.
About your desires;
your fantasies and dreams.

There's a little annoying voice that sleeps, eats, bathes and shits in the heads of all human beings;
deciphering between right and wrong,
between what's acceptable and what you should feel guilty about, about what standards have to be met in due time, and on and on and on and on.

And those that come out with the eye of the tiger aren't those who dismiss that voice, but rather accept it, letting it bitch to its content, knowing when it comes down to the wire, it's their choice whether to listen or not.

So throw down the gloves, spit out your mouth guard and begin to expect... no scratch that... begin to LOVE gettin' slapped around a lil' bit (enter closeline).

Bet you didn't see that hook comin'. ;)

'Cause you got... NO chance! No chance in hell!
You got no chance! No chance in hell!

Critique of the Week: The Vault

Friday afternoon, drivin' around on reading week, lookin' for my fix while listening to Nelly's 'Ride Wit Me' and unleashin' my ghetto-fabulousness while sippin' some tea... life doesn't get better.

I stopped by 'The Vault,' a store claiming to sell discounted and brand name sports apparel, and I was looking for shoes. I walked in and stopped twitching... my fix was appeased.

Rows of funky All-Star and Adidas sneakers, soccer cleats, casual Puma's, cute summer flats, even sexy rain boots. ;)

I came out with a pair of Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B. collection sneakers for thirty bucks and a pair of long awaited olive green Tretorn rain boots for the same price!

As for the clothing, I didn't take the time to check but it looked pretty reasonable. So did the selection of brand name totes and accessories. So if you're looking for some great deals on great gear, check it out you fiend!

The Vault
946 Edgeley Boulevard,
Concord, ON L4K 4V4
vaultstyle.ca

Selfishness is Godliness

As the fifty-fifth Mandarin fortune cookie yelped for mercy from my stomach, I couldn't help but be inspired by a scene from a movie including blonde-haired Bette Midler sharing a joint with botox-injected Meg Ryan. So here goes...

To all men out there, do whatever the hell is it that you want: attempting to own those "Situation" abs, taking that hot ass by the bar to your car, and... and that pretty much covers everything that goes through a man's head, except maybe switching the order of which they were written.

To the ladies, dido. Whether it's quitting your currently horrible job to take time off, dancing like a clucking chicken at a funeral, growing a fresh new tray of wheatgrass (haha, mine failed), and the list continues.

Who gives a shit what you think, your amigos, the fam, your boss, that cute rando you decided to flip the finger to for no apparent reason to be understood by man. It doesn't matter.

The key to life is being selfish. Give a whole lot to yourself, and if anyone should be lucky enough to be graced by your godliness, they'll feel the love. 'Cause I've come to realize, that sacrificing your talent, desires and life for others only stiffles (yes I wrote stiffles) your energy and leaves you angry, eventually leading to your ass on a street begging for a spare orange peel to suck the remaining citrus goodness out of. True story.

Be clear on what it is you want, do it, and don't care for the consequences or approval from anyone. No apologies.

Amen.

I’ll Be Ready (I’ll be ready), Never You Fear (never you fear!)....Enter Pamela Anderson and Floatation Device(s)

Valentine's Day is not about last minute treks to Hallmark. Valentine's Day is not about the latest and most blingin' bracelet from sista Tiff. Valentine's Day should not conjure up frightful nightmares about what March's credit card bill will look like online. By the way, Valentine's Day is definitely not reserved for the sole percentage of the world's serious long-term relationship-ites.

You boys loved that first paragraph didn't you, haha. Now prepare yourself for sappy-ass-ness.

Valentine's Day is a time of light-heartedness. A time where you can wink past and whisper "Pssst. Hey. You're awesome." A time for the couples to look back at all the time spent together, and to show off how well they know each other by surprising each other with gifts tailored to they quirks and fetishes.

It's a time where singles party at Valentine's Day-themed clubs entitled "That Bitch Was a Gold Digger, I'd Rather Be Single." A time were single ladies may call up their equally single girlfriends to wallow in their loneliness (quite the paradox). When unattached men and women can call each other up for a night of fun and frolic. A holiday for carefree first dates… or last.

A time for wives and husbands to exchange morning notes on napkins before heading out the door for work. A time for grade threes to send out their most impressive V-Day cards to their crushes (I CHOO- CHOO- CHOOSE YOU!).

So to those of all facebook relationship statuses, don't waste another Valentines Day! Get out there and have fun with your baby, your hubby, your buddy, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your invisible friend (how should I know if you're a creep or not?!?), your homies or your random choice for the weekend.

And boys, if your wifey's been drooling over that 3000-carrot-Lil' Wayne-mouth-guard-blinding diamond bracelet from Tiffany's... you know what you gotta do. And if all else fails remember one thing... the Hoff still loves you!

Engines Ready?

So today marks the first day of yet another 30 day smoothie fast. Well, to be exact it's not really a fast unless you're doing a water fast, but for efficiency's sake let's stick with that. Some of you think smoothie and conjure up pictures of neapolitan ice cream with walnuts and Nesquick chocolate syrup. But baby, that's not what I'm goin' for. We're talkin' straight fruit and veg. Something easy for a raw-vegan to grasp, but quite the pole vault for someone like my heavy-accented, wife-beater-wearing Sicilian father.

How can a vegetable smoothie taste good? Add a handful of spinach to a smoothie loaded with mangoes, apples, bananas, papayas and oranges, and aside from the slight change in colour, you don't taste the greens at all. It's an awesome opportunity to get in those extra chlorophyll-drenched goodies without the sacrifice of taste. Plus there are millions of green-smoothie recipes all over the web. Why does this feel like an infomercial?

So...let the 30-day smoothie fast begin! Doctah T, out.

How to Screw With People at the Gym

Boys take note. Next time you hit the gym, trying out one of these moves could get you laid by Valentine's Day. Quite the stretch! ;)

My Baby's Back And Kickin'

There's a lot I learn from wise old farts. One specific one, a delicious smelling one might I point out, soon to be 99 years young, has taught me almost everything I know, the good things anyway (I'll take credit for the rest). While most of the time I seem to be the one in the group that can't shut up, and other times the exact opposite, I found there to be a lot to learn from that silent sort of confidence found in certain people.

Those people who fly under the radar, those people who remain calm in times of distress, and those people who let out what they're feeling or thinking when they feel the need to. Those people that are consistent and who don't let their ego get in the way of their vulnerabilities. Those people who take it second by second, caring not for the expectations of others and knowing full on the boundaries between admirable and tasteless.

The sort of person who doesn't believe in self-supression. Who believes in ploughing and laughing all the way through. There are more than a few things I learned from this individual but for short-blog-entry's sake I guess the things I came away with are trust yourself, don't be to proud to go get what you want, and if there's only one thing you could do for the rest of your life, laugh.

Not bad for my baby who doesn't talk much.

1250-5000 words. Due midnight tonight...

Essays make me twitch.
Alcohol leaves me mellow.
Sunny winters leave me toasty.
'What if's' make me hit my forehead.
Dates make me fidgety.
Wheatgrass leaves me nauseated.
Music makes me brave.
Deadlines hold me back.
Water makes me satisfied.
Hangovers lead to tuna sandwiches (vegan?).
Silence leaves me comfortable.
Weed makes me sway.
Avocados and ACV... yeaaaaaaa.
3:45 in the PM leaves me annoyed.
TV wastes my time.
Dance breaks make my life.
Orchids make me wonder.
Soccer makes me fierce.
Concerts leave me groupy-like.
Challenges make me focus.
Frankness leaves me liberated.
Dresses make me strut.
Cargos leave me gangsta.
Computer screens leave me dazed.

8 hours left, tikity toc.

I'ma I'ma A Diva

Can you not help but shake that ass to Beyonce's 'I am Sasha Fierce' album! Stand back, no passengers on my plane. ;)

Pressure (cubed)

To be perfect,
To be happy,
To be everyone's best friend,
To be everyone's shoulder,
To be smart,
To be confident,
To be affectionate,
To be professional,
To provide,
To graduate,
To plan for the future,
To be the clown,
To break the silence,
To keep the peace,
To say thank you,
To say you love it,
To go for the gold.

When's the right time to be vulnerable?
To be afraid,
To be naive,
To be lonely,
To be cold,
To do nothing,
To fail,
To be angry,
To be lazy,
To quit,
To stay quite,
To take what you want and leave,
To tell everyone to fuck off?

My take?... The world would be a better place if we allowed some time for all those things. None good, none bad. They just are.

End it Off Right...

There are many kinds of crazy people in this world, and I just happen to be one of those who needs to always end my drive home on a good tune. I mean so good that I'll keep driving until I find one. So good that I'll spend another three and a half minutes singing along to a song while parked on my driveway with the car on, wasting gas that costs me 99 cents a liter. So good that I'll be hitting the radio dial double time while in the passenger seat with fists pumping. Yup, now ye know it. Watch out.

Just Do It!

Two cans of camel-coloured odour free paint lie in my closet to go over the fuscia walls I've seen since '94. One acoustic guitar has stood in the corner of my room with one broken string for 7 months. One children's 7-book set has sat on my bookshelf leaving me with six-and-a-half still left to be read. Two lucky bamboo plants planted in a vase by my window turned yellow 4 months ago.

Ever been in that spot where there's something you have to do, and you should do, but you don't want to do it and you do want to do it at the same time? Ladies? Those last 5 pounds of cellulite hanging under your right ass cheek (and your left... make that 10 pounds) all gained before heading on a beautiful Carribean vacation? I guess the best thing I can say is... (enter Nike slogan here).

'Cause after all, do those two big plastic bins of school books in the trunk that were to be taken to Goodwill 3 months ago, do they really weigh down the Corolla when driving under dangerously icy conditions? Cut the crap. The man that invented the phrase "safety first"... well, he lied to you. Just do it! Except if you're expecting an unexpected pregnancy, then boys and girls, 'Protect Ya Tings!'

Somebody Forgot to Eat Their Goooooooji Berries ;)

This vid is hilarious. I can't get enough of that Indian jingle! Pose for the camera baby!

Second First Post

I know right? Another effin' blog from another effin' broad who feels the need to express her ridiculously bullshit-wisdom and a whole host of other crap all over the web? Maybe. Maybe not. Whateverrrr! Haaaa!

Sush Got’Cha Loose

If all else fails… (the rolls are sloppy, or the waiter doesn’t come often enough to refill your water, or the lettuce in the salad isn’t broken into small enough pieces, or they think you’ll forget you ordered that set of dragon rolls and salmon sushi pizza) every lady knows that the one thing you can count on from Japanese restaurants is that their washrooms are like spas. And we all know that that’s the first thing we talk about when we pass the place’s name on to our closest sistas. You know… the beautiful sinks in the shape of frosted green glass bowls. Those majestic waterfall-spewing faucets?

And that's when my life changed forever. Ooh ye Koganei. Restaurant? Beautiful. Food? Great. And then twas time to freak-a-leak. Let me tell you, passing through that bathroom door took me back to Narnia; hold the fawns, sexy witches and fresh scent of pine. We’re talking ground zero, and I wasn’t prepared for no adventures. So for the ladies wondering what I think about the restaurant… its alright. Bring your harpoon!